"Change your expectations and learn to navigate your “new normal.” This one may be the toughest to accomplish.Your vision of what family life would and should be based on past ideas and hopes might need to be dramatically altered to allow for having an unpredictable illness."
What did we learn? From the unconcerned ("It's not so bad") to the plain unhelpful ("But you look fine"), advice is hurled at us from friends, family, coworkers, even strangers. While most suggestions are probably well-intentioned, hearing them over and over can make us feel that our lupus is minimized and misunderstood.
"When hosting a dinner party (or a get together) take the time to share with your Chronically Ill friend ahead of time the ingredients of all of your dishes. This will save your friend any awkwardness of having to ask questions in front of the other guests and feel like a burden at the party."