Cow you like me now?
Channel your inner maniac like:
Operation "dragging-out-that-one-friend-who-wants-to-stay-in."
When it's "not what it looks like".
That neighbor who pretends they have it all together.
Dodging bad luck on Friday the 13th like:
Brainstorming how to get out of a conversation before it even starts.
Trying to reign in an already wild 2017.
I foresee unrealistic New Year's resolutions in the very near future.
Trying to ring in the New Year while still processing 2016.
Looking back on 2016 like:
Cheers to feasts and family... in that order.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a full night!
When you can't find where your presents are hidden.
When mom t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ brings up the naughty list.
Finding out you're spending the holidays with "his side"…
That face you make when your credit card has yet to decline.
When they try to steal your holiday swag. Not the gumdrop buttons!
One does not simply walk into a store on Black Friday.
When someone tells you something for the third time. Cool story, bro.
Admit nothing, deny everything.