02/24/2017 at 20:17.
599 likes - 49 comments
02/24/2017 at 20:30
Jackie: So we got an attractive woman, wearing a bra, no top, walkin' around in broad daylight. She's flouting society's conventions!
Kramer: She was flouting.
Jackie: That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous!
02/24/2017 at 20:29
Haha Bikinis tend to be even more revealing... Calm down men. Control yourselves. It's just fat, or it's, too often, chemicals used to make rubber injected into the chest. 😂
02/24/2017 at 20:42
Alright, alright, I saw her! And she was beautiful in that bra! I'm crazy about her! I love her whole free swinging, free wheeling attitude!
02/24/2017 at 17:01.
We’re not gay! Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
“The Outing” is on Seinfeld tonight!
2270 likes - 138 comments
02/24/2017 at 17:08
Kramer: Aaaah! Enough lying! The lying is through! C'mon, Jerry, the masquerade is over. You're thin, late 30s, single...
Jerry: So are you...
Kramer: Yeah... *shudder*
02/24/2017 at 17:03
Jerry: Y'know I hear that all the time.
Elaine: Hear what?
Jerry: That I'm gay. People think I'm gay.
Elaine: Yeah, you know people ask me that about you, too.
Jerry: Yeah, 'cuz I'm single, I'm thin and I'm neat.
Elaine: And you get along well with women.
George: I guess that leaves me in the clear.
02/24/2017 at 17:01
Jerry: "Within the confines of his fastidious bachelor *pad*, Seinfeld and Costanza bicker over the cleanliness of a piece of *fruit* like an old married couple--"
*I told you that pear was washed*!
yesterday at 22:00.
You’ve got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who’s having sex with the hen?
1162 likes - 136 comments
yesterday at 22:00
FRANK: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The
rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
GEORGE: Why don't we talk about it another time.
FRANK: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a
chicken. Something's missing!
MRS. ROSS: Something's missing all right.
MR. ROSS: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
Amr Mohamed Nazih
yesterday at 22:15
Labana eb2a shouf el 7ala2a di bas di fel a5er shewaya bas mas5ara.. Da jerry stiller el ba2olak 3alih el ragel da aktar ragel mod7ek howa w kramer lama beymaselo ma3 ba3d basa5sa5
yesterday at 22:20
I forgot to put that bread out.
Where is it?
I left it right there.
Is it possible they took it back?
Who would take back a marble rye?
THOSE PEOPLE THAT'S WHO!
yesterday at 17:05.
You know, men can sit through the most pointless boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.
“The Movie” is on Seinfeld tonight!
1528 likes - 88 comments
yesterday at 17:11
Kramer: Hey, did that guy show up?
Clerk: The guy with the horse face and the big teeth?
Kramer: No, the guy with the big head and the flared nostrils.
Clerk: Haven't seen him. There was a short guy with glasses, who looked like Humpty-Dumpty with a melon hat. But he left.
Dennis John Depew
yesterday at 17:13
"Well, you made a long journey from Milan to Minsk, Rochelle, Rochelle. You never stopped hoping; now you're in a Pinsk, Rochelle, Rochelle. When the naysayers 'nay' you picked up your pace. You said nothing's going to stop me so get out of my face. I'm having adventures all over the place, Rochelle, ROCHELLE!"
yesterday at 18:00
There is an outstanding anecdote in a book titled "Seinfeldia" about that Rochelle Rochelle poster. An actress posed for the shoot and appeared as an extra, then left acting some time later. Apparently many years after that, an artist made a reproduction of the poster and put it up outside a New York theater as a gag. Someone sees it, Seinfeld fans start buzzing, word gets back to her that her picture is all over the place, and her husband tracks down the artist and gets a copy.
The real Rochelle Rochelle!
02/22/2017 at 22:01.
Now see this is what the holidays are all about...three buddies sitting around chewing gum.
5862 likes - 481 comments
02/22/2017 at 22:05
Kramer: Look Elaine I know you're trying to get Lloyd to notice you honey but this is too much.
Elaine: I lost a button okay?
Kramer: The Alex Theatre is a family theatre, not one of you're swing joints.
02/22/2017 at 22:10
JERRY: So you say she was on a horse?
GEORGE: I'm telling you, that cashier is riding horses on my money.
JERRY: Well, here's what I propose. Go down to the stables, snoop around. See if any high-flying cashier's been throwing twenty dollar bills around with big lips.
02/22/2017 at 23:16
Elaine : I'll look in the lost and found for my button, it's antique ivory
Jerry : the way you were woofing down that popcorn, maybe you ate it
02/22/2017 at 17:09.
I’m disturbed! I’m depressed! I’m inadequate! I got it all!
"The Visa" is on Seinfeld tonight!
5182 likes - 191 comments
02/22/2017 at 17:15
Elaine: Look, I was nice enough to pick it up for you. Jerry: Hey, I've been back for four days, I want my mail. Elaine: It's mostly bills, magazines and junk mail. Jerry: Without bills, magazines and junk mail, there is no mail.
02/22/2017 at 17:16
Birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by, and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are til the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably, happy birthday, no such thing.
Funny guy, huh?
02/22/2017 at 17:25
"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down $2,000 dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing. Fall ass backwards into money. Mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp."
02/21/2017 at 22:01.
I love the sponge, I need the sponge!
2303 likes - 94 comments
02/21/2017 at 22:03
Elaine, can I just explain something to you very privately here? Susan and I have been together many, many times now, and just between you and me, there's really no big surprises here, so...make-up sex is all that I have left.
02/21/2017 at 22:03
George trying to open the condom: I tried tearing from the side. It doesn't work! Ya gotta do it like a bag of chips!
Anselmo Montemayor Jr
02/21/2017 at 22:34
GEORGE: That condom killed me. Why do they have to make the wrappers on those things so hard to open?
JERRY: It's probably so the woman has one last chance to change her mind.
GEORGE: You never run out, do you?
02/21/2017 at 20:00.
3054 likes - 85 comments
02/21/2017 at 20:26
GEORGE: I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. ... You telling me you're not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit.
02/21/2017 at 20:12
"Noooooooo!!!!!!! There was no pick!!! No pick!!!!!! It was a scratch!!!!!!"
02/21/2017 at 20:10
Newman tell me what you see in this picture? A nipple! Anything else? Nah that's all! See yah!
02/21/2017 at 17:00.
Oh my god! That’s my nipple!
“The Pick” is on Seinfeld tonight!
3692 likes - 152 comments
02/21/2017 at 17:04
George: "How come I didn't get a Christmas card? Everyone got a Christmas card; Jerry got one, Kramer got one. I though we were friends? What gives?"
Elaine: "You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card! All right here!" ( she rubs his head between her breasts) "Here's your Christmas card!"
02/21/2017 at 17:06
NEWMAN: Okay. What is it?
JERRY: Take a look at this card. Tell me if you notice anything unusual about it.
NEWMAN: Yeah. Your nipple's showing.
JERRY: Okay. Thanks.
NEWMAN: Anything else?
NEWMAN: All right. See you later.
02/21/2017 at 17:37
ELAINE: Hey Kramer! You see anything wrong with this picture?
KRAMER: Well...your nipple is showing...
KRAMER (flips out)
02/20/2017 at 22:00.
A George divided against itself cannot stand!
7277 likes - 231 comments
02/20/2017 at 22:24
Hello. And welcome to your worst nightmare. I know you're in there, Cosmo Kramer, Apartment 5B. You're in big trouble. Now. You've been stealing my business. If you'd like to do this the easy way, open the door. Now. Or, please select the number of seconds, you'd like to wait, before I break this door down. Please select Now.
02/20/2017 at 22:02
***George enters Monk's and sees Susan seated with the gang*** "One, two, three.... four.... HUH HO!!!!" ***storms out of coffee shop***
02/20/2017 at 22:01
Happy President's Day!
As soon as I leave the house he turns into J. Edgar Hoover!
How bout these seats, huh? I feel like Lincoln. Yeah well let's hope this night turns out better.
There's a street gang named after President Martin Van Buren? Oh yeah....and they're just as mean as he was!
02/20/2017 at 17:00.
See when Seinfeld is on in your area:
[ Bit.ly Link ]
716 likes - 27 comments
Nancy Sergent McComb
02/20/2017 at 23:38
Best show ever! The garbage that is on TV now isn't worth turning it on. I have to watch all the old shows for anything decent.
Derek D Smetak
02/21/2017 at 11:51
Am I the only one that has thought of Netflix bringing them back for a new series? Yes, I know it's a longshot, but it's a dream!
02/20/2017 at 18:58
Kramer I think there's something wrong with the phone, hold on!
02/20/2017 at 17:00.
“The Airport” is on Seinfeld tonight!
4701 likes - 176 comments
02/20/2017 at 17:01
but cha are Blanche, you are in the shackles, can't wait to read my time magazine, maybe I'll read tomorrow in the park, supposed to be a beautiful day, have a nice life....sentence that is
02/20/2017 at 17:40
The look on Jerry's face when they're landing in NY and he looks out the window and sees Kramer sprinting down the runway in the dark.
02/20/2017 at 17:36
Jerry: You see? Never be late for a plane with a girl. 'Cuz a girl runs like a girl-- with the little steps and the arms flailing out... You wanna make this plane, you've gotta run like a man!
Get your knees up!
02/19/2017 at 17:00.
Celebrate 90 years of NBC with us as The Paley Center Salutes NBC's 90th Anniversary Sunday at 8/7c on NBC! #NBC90
3590 likes - 67 comments
02/19/2017 at 18:22
Re-watched the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episodes where the cast re-united for a "reunion" episode. Freakin great.
02/19/2017 at 17:20
Bania: Hey Jerry! I just stopped by to thank you. That risk management stuff you wrote for me is killer.
Jerry: Risk management?
Bania: It's gold Jerry. Gold.
02/19/2017 at 18:46
TheREAL SeinfeldMusicGuy here.. Honored to be part of NBC's success story. Grateful that I was the composer for 17 NBC Series and wrote 13 of those NBC TV Themes (Seinfeld, Will & Grace, Caroline in the City,..) Thanks for having me on the team!
02/17/2017 at 22:00.
4379 likes - 187 comments
02/17/2017 at 22:07
You know George, growing up as a boy in Costa Rica, I heard a rumor that mama had taken a lover. Perhaps Bosco was this man's name.
02/17/2017 at 22:15
Peterman: George, when momma said 'Bosco' she must have been trying to communicate something, a legacy, a dying wish perhaps.
George: Mothers say things. My mother goes babbling on and on like a crazy person.
02/17/2017 at 22:10
George: I don't even know Peterman. How the hell am I gonna relax? I'm gonna have to be on all night. I don't like being on, Jerry, I would much rather be off.
Jerry: Trust me, you're off.
02/17/2017 at 20:00.
4274 likes - 110 comments
02/17/2017 at 20:24
Another classic moment where the writing REALLY shined through! Look at the expression on Jerry's face! That's gold baby!!!
02/17/2017 at 22:49
JERRY: You sprayed him in the eyes with Binaca?
ELAINE: Cherry Binaca, its new.
JERRY: See, I don't get that. First they come out with the regular, then a
year later they come out with the cherry. They know that we like the cherry, start with cherry! Then come out with the regular!
02/17/2017 at 20:03
It's so sad that all your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.
02/17/2017 at 17:00.
In the dark room? Oh uh no, no thank you. Not right now.
“The Opera” is on Seinfeld tonight!
3488 likes - 288 comments
02/17/2017 at 17:00
You left the door open.
I like to encourage intruders.
02/17/2017 at 19:13
Jerry, Joe Davola. *Pbt* *Pbt* *Pbt* I have a hair on my tongue, I can't get it off, you know how much I hate that? Course you do, you put it there. I know what you said about me Seinfeld. I know you badmouthed me to the execs at NBC, put the kibosh on my deal. Now Im gonna put the kibosh on you. You know Ive kiboshed before, and I will kibosh
02/17/2017 at 17:00
I'm a day person!
28439 likes - 1366 comments
You're kissing in my line?! Nobody kisses in my line!
I can kiss wherever I want too!
You just cost yourself a soup!
How dare you! Come on Jerry were leaving! ( walks out then back in) Jerry!
Do I know you?
Andrea Mya Riboust
George: Why can't we share?
Jerry: I told you not to say anything! You can't go in there, brazenly flout the rules and think I'm gonna share with you!
George: Do you hear yourself?!
Jerry: I'm sorry... (splutters) This is what comes from living under a nazi regime.
You're pushing your luck little man!
You just tell him that you’re my boyfriend and that we’re in love.
“The Watch, Pt 2” is on Seinfeld tonight!
2592 likes - 93 comments
Naomi, the hostess stands at the Seinfeld's table. Naomi: Did you enjoy your poisson? Helen: It was different. Naomi: (to Jerry) And how was yours? Jerry: Ah, very good. Naomi: You should try our mousse (a little flirtatious) It'll change your expectancy. Jerry: No thanks, just the check.
Can i offer you something to drink? Uh yeah I'll have a decaf cappacino. I don't believe we have that. Well thats a little strange. Why does that surprise you? It's a very popular drink. This is an office. That's true. Lol
ELAINE: I cannot believe I'm doing this. I never meet people like this. You're not a nut, are you?
DAVOLA: No, I don't think so.
When you look annoyed all the time, people think you're busy.
12233 likes - 640 comments
"We all get a little cuckoo sometimes, George. I used to be like you. Berating personnel until they cried, calling managers on the field during a game, threatening to move the team to New Jersey, just to upset people. Then I found a way to relax. I've got two words to say to you, George: hot tub!"
"hey you bastards, so how was the meeting?, you know I really like those sons of bitches, sons of bitches? yeah that's how they talk, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch"
Steinbrenner: I'll tell you, if you wanna get something wild goin' on in your life, you get a girl and bring her into one of these things. Just like 4 shots of wild turkey. She'll think you're Hopalong Cassidy.
Doesn’t like you? How could anyone not like you?
I know, it seems impossible.
“The Wallet, Pt 1” is on Seinfeld tonight!
3579 likes - 146 comments
Just click around the Internet for a couple of minutes. You're bound to find a whole mess of hipsters out there who insist that this show was never funny.
It's their loss. I can't count how many times I've marathoned the entire series and I still love it to bits :)
MY WALLETS GONE! MY WALLETS GONE!!! What kind of a clip joint you people running here?
ELAINE: He has this power over me, okay. He has this way of manipulating every little word I say. He's like a Svenjolly.
ELAINE: What did I say?
ELAINE: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
ELAINE: I don't see how I could have said Svenjolly.