The Fat Jew
yesterday at 18:57. Facebook
THE OTHER CRAZIEST THING THAT HAPPENED AT THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT IS THAT WE DISCOVERED NICOLE KIDMAN HAS NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO CLAP.
The Fat Jew
02/22/2017 at 17:22. Facebook
THEY SEE ME ROLLING/ THEY HATING/ BECAUSE I'M THE OLDEST LIVING FUCKING MONARCH
I'M GONNA GET THE TWINS MATCHING STAINLESS STEEL PANINI MAKERS
AT 5:30PM TOMORROW NIGHT IN CHICAGO, MY FESTIE CALLED IRL IS GOING TO BE THE STUPIDEST, SO PREPARE TO BARF A RAINBOW OF HAPPINESS.

FREE ENTRY, FREE Four Loko, FREE Diplo, FREE HAZY MEMORIES. BE THERE SUPER EARLY, IT'S GOING TO BE NUTS!

Four Loko Presents Fat Jew IRL Chicago

EVENT - facebook.com
A card from a pharmacy won't do anything to quell the deep and undying hatred that your significant other has in her heart for you, but it's a nice thought I guess?
I made love to a lasagna this morning.
I'd rather spend the day in a souped up Mitsubishi Eclipse with a high spoiler with my grandma, Ol' Dirty Bastard and Paul Walker, Toyko drifting across the clouds
It's literally the cost of a fucking salad at Whole Foods if you get one hardboiled egg.
This dog is basically a rich power gay architect who owns a sunsplashed brownstone and says things like "is Susan fucking SERIOUS with that Michael Kors bag?"
Obama is listening to Luther Vandross and getting all up in Michelle's ham wallet on gold silk sheets and parasailing and drinking out of coconuts and taking a few hits off a jay. He's so fucking over it.
I'm just assuming, but is Michelle a barista now right?
ME AND BEYONCE ARE BOTH PREGNANT AS FUCK. MAZEL KWEEN.
TOMORROW NIGHT IN TEMPE COME TO THE FAT JEW IRL SHOW AT EL JEFE LUBRICATED BY Four Loko AND SEE ME IN ASSLESS LEATHER CHAPS, RL Grime, PizzaSlime, A CAT WHO DJ'S, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER SPOOKY STUFF, ALL FOR FREE.

100000% FREE DRINKS, FREE MUSIC, FREE QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS, FREE EVERYTHING.

BE THERE.

Four Loko Presents Fat Jew IRL Tempe

EVENT - facebook.com
TOMORROW NIGHT IN NEW YORK CITY I AM THROWING A PARTY WITH Four Loko FEATURING PERFORMANCES BY NATIONAL TREASURES LIKE PARTY FAVOR, ILoveMakonnen, PizzaSlime, Splurt, MAJOR BEHAVIOR, AND MY DAD (NO, LITERALLY, HEโ€™S DJโ€™ING). ITโ€™S 10000000% FREE TO GET IN, FREE BOOZE, FREE WHEAT THINS, FREE MEMORIES, FREE PUKE ON YOUR SHOES FROM THE GUY NEXT TO YOU. BE THERE. DONโ€™T BE NOT THERE.

Four Loko Presents Fat Jew IRL NYC

EVENT - facebook.com
MOM THAT'S NOT MY BAG OF POT, DAVE BOUGHT IT AND NEEDED ME TO HOLD IT FOR HIM GOD GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM WHAT IS THIS THE SPANISH INQUISITION I CANT WAIT TO MOVE OUT
THE FUTURE IS MOTHERFUCKING FEMALE
SINCE WE ALL CAME FROM A WOMAN, GOT OUR NAME FROM A WOMAN, AND OUR GAME FROM A WOMAN.
OH MY GOD MICHELLE LOOKING RIGHT AT THE CAMERA LIKE SHE'S FUCKING ON "THE OFFICE" AYYYYY LOLOLOL
It's confusing, like how the Schnozzberries guy from Super Troopers is married to the red head with the monster sweater puppies from Mad Men.