The Fat Jew
01/21/2017 at 18:43. Facebook
SINCE WE ALL CAME FROM A WOMAN, GOT OUR NAME FROM A WOMAN, AND OUR GAME FROM A WOMAN.
The Fat Jew
01/20/2017 at 22:28. Facebook
OH MY GOD MICHELLE LOOKING RIGHT AT THE CAMERA LIKE SHE'S FUCKING ON "THE OFFICE" AYYYYY LOLOLOL
The Fat Jew
01/20/2017 at 18:31. Facebook
It's confusing, like how the Schnozzberries guy from Super Troopers is married to the red head with the monster sweater puppies from Mad Men.
The Fat Jew
01/19/2017 at 00:34. Facebook
DIPLO IS PLAYING A SECRET SHOW ON MY IRL TOUR IN CHICAGO ON 2/16! YES, EVERYTHING IS FUCKING FREE. (i cursed there for effect) FREE @FOURLOKO, FREE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT COLD CUTS, FREE UNEXPLAINED BRUISES THE NEXT DAY! RSVP NOW, LINK IN BIO. ALSO, DIPLO AND I GOT MATCHING TATTOOS. MINE IS A TRAMP STAMP, WILL POST LATER.
The Fat Jew
01/18/2017 at 22:42. Facebook
Do you think they've ever had a sleepover with snacks and videos and maybe Barack drew a dick on Joe's face when he fell asleep too early?
The Fat Jew
01/17/2017 at 19:20. Facebook
THIS YEAR STARTED OFF WITH A MAJESTIC TURKISH SWAGLORD WITH SHINY HAIR SALTING MEAT, WHO FUCKING KNOWS WHERE WE'RE HEADED FROM HERE.
Remember this photo tonight when you leave the club and end up at some strangers afterparty piss drunk talking to a random white guy with dreads about his new line of eco friendly condoms.
My mom thinks my Facebook wall is a private message to just me and asked me the other day on there if I was making sure to take my Valtrex :(
I once saw Wilmer Valderrama in LA wearing fingerless gloves and a beanie on a 93 degree day.
Oh, you can't make it to my sick party, FAT JEW IRL? Well guess what, we will bring you @Dillon Francis and Major Behavior for free, here on the World Wide Web. Thanks to @Four Loko, and to Al Gore for inventing the fucking internet!!!
TOMORROW NIGHT AT WEBSTER HALL IN NEW YORK CITY, ME + PARTY FAVOR + ILoveMakonnen + PizzaSlime ARE THROWING A PARTY WITH Four Loko THAT IS 1000000% FREE AND WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER/ POTENTIALLY RUIN IT.

FREE DRINKS, FREE MUSIC, FREE TOUNGE KISSING WITH STRANGERS, FREE UNEXPLAINED BRUISES ON YOUR LEGS THE NEXT MORNING.

MISSING IT WOULD BE DUMB AND COULD POTENTIALLY LEAD TO TERMINAL FOMO...
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Four Loko Presents The Fat Jew IRL

EVENT - facebook.com
YOU'LL END UP CHILLING WITH A FUCKING VOLLEYBALL AND A SOMALI PIRATE WHO LOOKS LIKE BEETLEJUICE
You're definitely not going to eat right and work out and get deep dicklines in 2017, so at least don't drive like a complete butthole.
TOMORROW NIGHT IN MONTREAL ME + Four Loko + Dillon Francis ARE THROWING A SICK PARTY THAT IS 100000% FREE.

FREE DRINKS, FREE SHOW, FREE SICK MEMORIES, FREE UNEXPLAINED BRUISES ON YOUR LEGS THE NEXT DAY. MISSING IT WOULD BE DUMB.

RSVP: FATJEWIRL.COM

Four Loko Presents The Fat Jew IRL

EVENT - facebook.com
ENJOY THE SLOW SPIRAL TOWARDS DEATH YOU GUYS!
Fuck you 2016, we're keeping this national treasure.
ME, Virgil and the spirit of MR. 305 are throwing the most LIT AF New Years party of the century in Miami. COME. PLZ. THANK YOU.

[ Newyears.com Link ]

Discount code: BASEMENT50
This year sucked more than a freshman girl at Michigan State who grew up in a strict conservative household. In case this is unclear, I'm referring to blowjobs.
After long enough with your family, even over age 30, you revert to being an angsty teen. MOM JUST CHILL OUT I WISH I WAS WITH MY FRIENDS UGHHHHHH!!
I don't want to see your weird looking child grow up on social media, but your dog? I'M FUCKING DOWN.