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The Fat Jew
12/05/2016 at 17:37. Facebook
I want to be friends with this guy. If he was alive in 2016 his browser history would be NUTS.
The Fat Jew
12/01/2016 at 23:13. Facebook
Seriously, those 3 pieces of pecan pie you ate last week while in your hometown did not give you those big swollen cankles.
You think your Thanksgiving dinner is gonna be awkward? This girl got DROP KICKED BY HER FUCKING SISTER. Get my new Pinot Grigot called "Family Time is Hard" right now at .

You're gonna need it.
Close your eyes. Imagine that shit. Yeahhhhhhh. You like how that shit feels right?
Your grandfather, with his rough hands and deep love for gin, would be so embarrassed of that photo you put on social media of you and your significant other Lady and the Tramping a cronut.
This is how bitchface is properly done. (@krazyfrog)
From the creators of White Girl Rosé + BABE (namely: ME) comes a Pinot Grigot for the Holidays. Because your mother is unbearable, but like, only wants the best for you. And you have to see your weirdo cousin who wears boot cut jeans.

Family time is hard, you're gonna need wine.

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THE FREE MONEY SHOW WITH THE FAT JEW, FEATURING RILEY REID!!!

THANK YOU Fleshlight and Daddy's Pipes !!!

THIS WEEK, $4,000 + A LOT OF ADULT TOYS THAT ARE FUN FOR ALONE TIME!!!
All Melania wanted was a white Mercedes, some red bottom shoes, and to stop eating rubble for breakfast in an Eastern European hut, and now she has to deal with this shit. (@theamericanizedfrench)
YO Campbell's I WANT TO TAKE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA PERSON OUT FOR SUSHI THEY FUCKING DESERVE IT FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ACT OF COMMENT SECTION SAVAGERY
Yesterday was a weird/horrendous day. So I got really really stoned and recreated the Kendall Jenner heart hair photo. BECAUSE LOVE IS IMPORTANT MOTHERFUCKER
2016 is fucking insane. And not in a "that time you took ayahuasca at burning man and rode a tandem bicycle through the desert with a 6-foot-8 Norwegian man with dreads" insane, but more like "the world is burning holy fuck" insane.
We invented a fried chicken sandwich that instead of bread was between TWO OTHER PIECES OF FRIED CHICKEN. So are you really that surprised?
MISS YOU ALREADY BARRY YOU EJACULATE LIGHTNING BOLTS LOVE YOU MEAN IT FAM
Remember in 2012 when the biggest anxiety about the Republican Presidential nominee was his mom jeans? I MISS THAT. (Google "Mitt Romney mom jeans" if you don't know what the fuck is up)
If you wouldn't, you're a fucking monster.
This family photo made me feel slightly less dead inside!
This family photo made me feel slightly less dead inside!
Almost every time, from almost every single person I know.
I’m in a commercial for Sixt rent a car with the legend Jimmy MacMillan where I do 50 dabs in like 10 seconds and then almost pass out because I don’t do cardio. It will definitely make your day weirder/ more awesome/ confusing/ better.

#elections2016