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"From this day forward, all tabletops will be made of coaster stuff - so I can put my drink down anywhere I damn well please."

Big Furry Hat: Twig & Berries Edition

"C-SPAN was interrupted by 'Russia Today.' It shocked C-SPAN's audience. Both of them.

But for 10 whole minutes yesterday, Russian propaganda was being broadcast on TV directly from Washington, and that's not supposed to happen until January 20th.

It's unclear just how this happened, but a lot of people are worried it's a hack. Now luckily I've been assured that the CBS feed is secure, and...
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Russia's Latest Hacking Victim: The Late Show

TONIGHT: Trump has landed some top-tier acts to play his inauguration!
Tonight on The Late Show... from The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, actor Cuba Gooding Jr., from Homeland, actor Rupert Friend, and stand-up comedy from Gary Gulman!

Watch on CBS or CBS All-Access at 11:35/10:35c: [ Bit.ly Link ]
"...seen here, posing for their plaques in the Douche Hall Of Fame."

Donald Trump To Hand Over Control of Businesses To Sons

The hip hop group performs a song off their album 'Cozy Tapes Volume 1: Friends.'

A$AP Mob Performs 'Crazy Brazy' on The Late Show

Before he was a comedian, the host of 'Caraoke Showdown' used to teach music to school children...

STEPHEN: "What's your favorite age to teach?"

CRAIG: "2nd/3rd grade... it's that- right before they turn evil... 3rd/4th grade, something happens right there."

STEPHEN: "It's called puberty, my friend."

Craig Robinson Takes Stephen To Music School

"He was seen fleeing his home yesterday and asked a neighbor to take care of his cat - oh, you gotta protect the cat - cause Trump is known for grabbing the pu**y."

MI6 Agent Behind #GoldenGate Is On The Run

His mustache also requires that it gets his Blue Bloods scripts two-weeks in advance.

Tom Selleck Says His Iconic Mustache May Run For Office

"I never in a million years imagined that the first time I interviewed you you'd say the words, 'my nipples were pretty painful.'"

FULL EPISODE (01/12/17): Tom Selleck, Craig Robinson, A$AP Mob

"It's all based on this 3-year, 35-pages of oppo research that was evidently put together by a British MI6 Agent... well today, we know his name is 'Steele. Christopher Steele.'

Christopher Steele really sounds more like a gay porn name - because it is, meet Chris Steele, gay porn actor."

Details Continue To Leak Out About Trump's Russia Story

"The Late Show is brought to you by...

Kid Rock Summer Camp: Come for the fun, stay because you had way too much Colt 45."

The Late Show Lesser Sponsor Roundup

COLBERT: "...is Vladimir Putin a war criminal?"

TILLERSON: "I would not use that term."

COLBERT: "Alright, then what term would you use, sir? ...Would you use the term 'Shaved Vampire?' How about the term 'That Painting From Ghostbusters 2 But With Man Boobs?'"

Rex Tillerson Gets Grilled By Senator Colbert

TONIGHT: It's time for a word from some of our #LesserKnownSponsors
Tonight on The Late Show... from Blue Bloods on CBS, actor Tom Selleck, host of 'Caraoke Showdown,' actor and comedian Craig Robinson, and a musical performance from ASAP Mob!

Watch on CBS or CBS All-Access at 11:35/10:35c: [ Bit.ly Link ]
"I don't wanna say it's the last time we're gonna have that kind of intelligence and grace [in the White House], but-... (sighs)."

Gabrielle Union Cried Watching Obama's Farewell Address

"I think that everything that matters today is the stuff you can't download. It's the stuff that you have to upload the old fashioned way, one human being to another."

Thomas L. Friedman On How To Survive In The Age Of Acceleration

Jude Law believes pontiffs walk with a hunch not because they're old but because their outfits are so heavy.

Vatican Experts Designed Jude Law's Garments In 'The Young Pope'

TRUMP: "We don't make good deals anymore."

COLBERT: "Yeah, like how we traded Obama for the World's Loudest Troll Doll. Terrible deal."

Donald Trump Holds First Press Conference in 168 Days

JUDE: "Thank goodness I was named after a great song! Can you imagine being named after a really bad song?"

STEPHEN: "Yeah. It's like naming your child 'Free Bird.'"

FULL EPISODE (01/11/17): Jude Law, Gabrielle Union, Thomas L. Friedman